Sometimes you have to VENT!!

The NGO I'm part of, WMW Jamaica, successfully launched the first session in our new series, called 'VENT', on Saturday, April 30, 2022. It was attended by 34 women, and it brought home so many truths to me about the state of women and girls in my country, and in our world. My heart was warmed and broken at the same time.

The idea for our 'Vent' series came from our understanding of the pressures, burdens and frustrations women face daily, especially on the heels of a major pandemic. We all need a safe space to "Vent" and receive affirmation, support, and love. We designed this series as a space in which women can feel their feelings, be listened to, heard, and understood, without the biases and judgments they face from society. 

One of the activities we did was to allow a woman to literally 'vent' and speak freely for 5 minutes on anything she really needed to get off her chest. Our first 'Venter' was Afolashade, a 60+ year old matriarch who has given much of her life to creative arts advocacy for women's rights. She spoke about the importance of owning the space you live in, and having your own keys to your house. She told us how she used to live an independent life with her own space, and how she gave that up for a man, who, after years of cohabitation, one day decided to put her out and replace her with a younger woman. She was left without a place to live. And she realised that giving up her own space had amounted to handing over power to this man. She cried at the end as she admonished each of us to do our best to retain ownership of our living spaces as empowered women. 

The second part of the Vent was to allow other women to provide words of affirmation, love and encouragement to Afolashade. Our sisters didn't hold back. They told her how special and beautiful she was, and thanked her for sharing from out of her own life, and encouraged her to remain strong and keep going.

As an icebreaker, we asked women to say their names and one thing they wanted to vent about. The topics were recurring: financial problems; the struggle for survival and to support self and families; identity issues as we get older - from 20s to 30s to 40s and 70s, we all have to grapple with changing bodies and relationships; pressure from our communities; health issues and pain; loneliness and lost friendships; being underappreciated ... the list goes on.

This was our first session, and we have plans to make the next ones even better. But I am mindful to listen closely to what I'm hearing in each session. To not just be there as an organiser or moderator, but to be there as a sister, as a woman - as one who helps others vent, and also needs to vent, too.