My Journey Through GBV and the Path Toward Empowerment!

For almost 20 years, I lived as a victim of gender-based violence. In my society, culture dictates that the man is the head of the family, reinforced by the practice of bride price. Because my husband had paid bride price, he used it as leverage to control me, reminding me that my family was indebted to him. This cultural expectation trapped me in cycles of abuse.

There were times when I was severely beaten, injured, and forced to seek medical attention. My younger sisters often sheltered me, but I always returned home because of my daughters. As underage girls, their welfare was my priority, and I could not leave them under the care of an abusive father.

The weight of bride price and family obligation meant that whenever I sought refuge, my family listened to my husband’s pleas and urged me to return. I felt stuck, lost, and hopeless. At my lowest moments, I thought about ending my life, but I held on for my daughters. I knew suicide would leave them believing I did not love or care for them.

Eventually, I realized my husband would not change. So I changed myself. I adapted to his expectations, isolated myself, and tried to show compassion, hoping it would ease the violence. But I also sought help. I went to Family PNG for counseling and secured an Interim Protection Order.

Through this journey, I learned that GBV is not just my story—it is a systemic issue in my community. Many women face the same barriers: cultural obligations, family pressure, and lack of institutional support. That is why I now use my experience to encourage other women to seek counseling and support.

What Must Be Done

Challenge harmful cultural norms: Bride price should never be used as a weapon to justify abuse.

Strengthen family and community support: Survivors need safe spaces where their voices are prioritized over cultural debt.

Improve institutional responses: Police, courts, and health services must treat GBV as urgent, not secondary.

Empower women through knowledge and solidarity: Education, counseling, and survivor networks help women reclaim their power.

My Definition of Justice

Justice is not only a legal verdict—it is the healing that comes when survivors find strength, solidarity, and dignity. For me, justice is seeing women rise from pain to empowerment, transforming trauma into advocacy, and ensuring our daughters inherit a safer world.