To the Women of Unspoken Grace: A Love Undefined

This month of love is meant to create the best memories for lovers, yet for some, it tends to awaken pain and raise difficult questions. This is my Valentine’s message for you—with love undefined.

​To the widowed:

I am sorry that a point came where you had to do life alone, carrying a legacy meant for two and remaining strong for your children and yourself, while at times being dragged down by in-laws. It might be months or decades since your lover left, but their love didn’t go with them; they left a piece of it within your children. I hope when you look at them, you feel that love which is silent, yet still vouching for you. At the same time, I hope you grow so much in love that you no longer have to rely only on a love that is silent.

​To the single mothers:

Whether you chose to leave or you were abandoned, I hope you give yourself a chance to be loved. Circumstances forced you to be strong for everyone else, and you carry so much weight doing it alone. You may be strong enough, but please give yourself room to see how worthy and deserving of love you are. You don’t necessarily need to look for it outside, because you already carry it within your heart.

​To the women battling infertility:

Society tends to deprive you of love and empathy, but today I want to remind you that you are deserving of love. What your body can or cannot do should never determine how much you are loved. You are whole, and love should not be bargained for based on the "gifts" womanhood is expected to give to a family. Never feel "less than" for what you have no control over. Do not pity yourself, because life offers love in so many ways. As long as there is life, there is hope. Refuse to be loved on their "terms and conditions," because true love is unconditional. If the world doesn't love you loudly enough, love yourself—because you deserve it.

​To the survivors of rape and defilement:

I am so sorry for the tragedy you endured, and I am sorry for a society that judges and blames you for an injustice meted out against you; it is shameless. You survived, and your dignity is not determined by that injustice. You are deserving of love and of living life freely. Do not let anyone dictate how you should be loved because of what happened to you. Love yourself loudly and give yourself a chance to experience love when it comes, because you are not a "lesser" human.

​To all of you:

You are all deserving of love. Do not let past experiences cage your emotions or make you feel unworthy. Love yourself harder, because there is no guarantee of receiving the love you deserve from elsewhere. Don't let others determine when you get to be loved, because your worth is immeasurable. I love you today, tomorrow, and forever for choosing to keep walking even in pain, and for being courageous enough when people become hostile or judgmental.

​Happy Valentine’s Day, Women of Grace.