Looking for a feeling that feels like home.

Hi worldpulse family! I'm Swastika from Nepal and here's a part of my life experience. At the age of 17 I started to tell myself I have to work , make billions of money, build a house by the age of 25 and provide my family. The decision making process is quite different when you're a teenager, there were thousands of voices around me that I felt like I should listen to. Some people said go abroad after the high school , some people said participant in all kinda trainings existing in the world.

Even though I told myself I would never go abroad and leave Nepal but eventually I did. I went to China to study for four years. I still remember crying at the airport because I couldn't ask where is the ticket counter in Chinese. Gradually, I learned the culture, I started to adapt everything around me. Coming from a Nepalese family, where you're always told that you always need someone by your side to live your life, I was pretty proud of myself living alone away from home. Time goes by and I'm suddenly someone who likes to eat 'ma la tang'(spicy noodles) and baozi (steamed bun) for breakfast.

But, nothing last forever it was time to graduate and I wasn't ready at all to leave china I tried my best to apply for other visas unfortunately it didn't really work as I thought. Then, I came back to Nepal. But all I could think about was china , its food, the high technological life. Little secret I was working sometimes too don't tell anyone shhhhh..... So I was missing the yuan. I felt like I lost a home, the home I created for myself and the life I built.

It has been 2 years already that I'm in Nepal. Even with my family and friends around it's hard to feel like home in Nepal. I feel like I belong no where. I thought going back to China would feel like that again so I went and visited, I did feel like home for few days but faded away. I don't really know what's a homey feeling is anymore! It doesn't mean I don't enjoy Nepal, I have found my passion to travel, a beautiful country to visit, mountains. But there's always a feeling of home I'm looking for.

And no I haven't built a house and earned billions of money yet. It's coming soon...

So is it just me ?