Lifting her up, Changing the world #GiveToGain

I met her in high school. We were in the same class, but she was already carrying a heavy life.

She came from a poor background and a family that did not believe in her. At home, she was called a disappointment. Her grades were not enough to take her to a better school, so she ended up in a local high school. Her mother remarried while she was still young, and as the firstborn, she carried many responsibilities. Even her father did not like her. To get basic needs, she had to bow to people who made her feel small.

We became friends slowly. I noticed she did not have enough necessities to take care of herself as a girl. What I had, we shared. I used my small pocket money to help her with what she needed. It was never much, but it helped her feel seen and supported. More than the things, she needed someone who cared.

She trusted me with her pain. She told me about the insults at home and how unwanted she felt. I told her what I believed with my heart. It is not where you come from that matters. It is where you are going. We ate together and talked every day. I kept reminding her that the past should not stop her future. Even when my own home was not peaceful, I chose to be strong for her.

In our final year before university, her mother died. She saw her mother take her last breath. That pain broke her. She could not concentrate in class. Her grades went down. She felt alone in the world.

I did not know perfect words to use, but I stayed. I listened to her cry. I told her that her pain was real, but her life was still important. I told her that crying did not mean giving up. I helped her study little by little. When she did her final exams, she did not perform well. But I refused to let her give up.

I told her to go back to school and try again. She agreed. She returned, worked harder, and passed. She got a chance to join university. But there was another problem. Her family did not support her and there was no money for fees.

I made her problem my problem. I did not know where to seek help, but I refused to watch her lose her future. We walked from one office to another, asking questions and explaining her story again and again. Sometimes we were sent away. Sometimes we were told to come back another day. Many times, we left with tired feet and heavy hearts. But we kept trying. We wrote letters and spoke to anyone who would listen. After many attempts, one kind heart agreed to sponsor her education. That moment felt like a door opening after a long time in darkness.

By chance, she joined the same university as me. From that time, we were not just friends. We were sisters.

At the university, I introduced her to peer counselling, a program I was already part of. From that time, she started to change. She learned about mental wellbeing, prevention of gender-based violence, peer mentorship, and ethical leadership. Being in that space helped her heal and understand herself better. Later, she affirmed to me that this opportunity awakened a calling in her. She told me it made her care deeply about the welfare of students who were struggling with different issues. Her passion for leadership became clearer and stronger from that point.

She joined the Alcohol and Drug Abuse peer education program and took active roles in university sensitization programs such as workshops, mental health campaigns, and capacity building forums. She was no longer only trying to survive. She was learning how to serve.

Because of her passion and courage, she decided to vie for faculty representation. But the journey was not easy. During the campaigns, she was body-shamed and openly insulted. People laughed at her and spoke words meant to break her spirit. This became a great setback for her. It brought back the pain of rejection she had known all her life. One night, she came to me in tears and said she wanted to quit. She felt tired and unworthy, as if she did not belong anywhere. I stayed with her. I reminded her that she was not the names people called her. I told her that leadership is not about pleasing everyone but about standing firm in purpose. I encouraged her to rise above the insults and not allow other people’s cruelty to decide her future. When her mind was tired, I helped her get counselling.

She did not win that election. She said she would never try again.

The following year, I sat with her and told her that she was more than a position and that the position needed her. We prepared again. I stayed awake with her at night helping her practice her speeches. I told her to focus on her purpose and not the insults. This time, she won. She became a student leader and did her work very well. In the next election, she rose higher and became one of the top student leaders. From a girl who once felt unwanted, she became someone people listened to.

Her confidence did not stop at school. She began speaking to young people in different forums about rejection, loss, and self-worth. She tells them that their beginnings do not decide their future. She organizes mentorship talks for students from poor backgrounds and helps them believe in themselves.

Together with other young people, she helped start a youth program focused on academic support, mental health awareness, and leadership training for young women. She is also the founder of Radiant Hope Foundation, where I continue to support her because I am part of the foundation. Through this work, we collaborate with other groups to create a society that is well-grounded in ethics, compassion, and sustainability. She helps students access scholarships, participate in workshops, and develop their leadership skills.

She has spoken in youth forums and student meetings to defend the rights of Kenyan students, especially those from poor families. She now sits in important discussions and speaks for others.

The girl who was once silent now speaks for many.

This year, she will be graduating from the university. Beyond her academic success, she has also been recognized for her leadership and service. She has received several awards from co-curricular activities, including the Vice Chancellor’s All-Round Student Award for balancing academic work with leadership and community service. These honors show how far she has come.

I am proud of her. From a girl who once saw only a collapsing future, she is now becoming a global-minded leader who is visionary and confident. She is rising. She is becoming. And through her story, many young people are finding courage to believe in themselves again.

I still support her today. I attend her programs when I can. I help her prepare her talks. I remind her of her strength when she feels tired. But as she grew, she also became my mentor. Watching her rise has changed me too. What was hidden inside her also woke something inside me.

By supporting her, I learned that leadership is not only about having a title. Sometimes it is about standing with one person until they can stand for many. Her journey changed my life as well. We are no longer two girls trying to survive. We are two women helping others grow.

I did not give her money. I did not change her family. I gave her time, care, courage, and belief.

That small support became confidence.

That confidence became leadership.

That leadership is now helping others.

This is what happens when we show up for one woman.

This is how giving becomes gain.

#GiveToGain