Dear younger me...I choose me

This is a letter of becoming.

From the girl who was hurt to the woman who is learning to heal.

I wish I could sit beside you and tell you what no one ever did.

I know the days when men looked at you and touched you in ways that made you feel dirty and small.

You did not know the word sexual harassment.

You only knew fear. You only knew shame.

So you kept quiet.

It was not your fault.

Not your body.

Not your clothes.

Not your smile.

Not your growing up.

Then there was your father.

The man you wanted to love you.

The man you tried to love even after he left you.

You forced your heart to keep hoping.

You believed that if you loved him enough, he would come back and choose you.

But loving an absent father did not heal you.

It only added more scars.

So you learned to look for his love in other people.

Then came the boyfriend.

You thought he was safety. You thought he was shelter.

But he wanted your body when what you wanted was protection, care, and a place to rest.

He asked for what you did not want to give. You said No. He left.

And that broke something inside you.

You did not want to be a sex toy.

Not after what men had already taken from your heart.

Not when all you wanted was a father’s love and a safe place.

So you turned to women.

You became a lesbian not because you hated men,

but because you were tired of being hurt.

Because girls felt safer.

Because girls listened.

Because girls did not take from your body.

For you, being a lesbian was not only about love.

It was about hiding. It was about safety. It was about survival.

And for a while, that survival felt like home.

But now, something in you has shifted.

You are no longer a lesbian.

You are choosing to live as a straight woman again,

not because you are forced,

but because you are healing and choosing who you want to be.

You are no longer building your life from trauma.

You are building it from purpose.

You are choosing yourself through writing,

through speaking,

through connecting with people who respect you and align with your dreams.

You are building peace.

Not only for yourself,

but for your family.

A quiet home. A safe space.

A life that does not grow from pain.

Your past does not define you.

It wounded you, but it will not own you.

You are building a strong place inside yourself.

A place no man can break.

A place no rejection can destroy.

A place no heartbreak can control.

It is okay to carry family burdens.

But do not forget yourself.

It is okay to be strong.

But do not make pain your identity.

Little one, you were never meant to only suffer.

You were meant to grow.

You were meant to dream.

You were meant to become the woman you imagined when you were still a small girl.

And I am proud of you

for surviving,

for saying no,

for walking away from pain,

and for choosing yourself.

With love,

Your Becoming Self