"This is not just my story—it is the story of every girl who was taught to shrink before she could grow."

Accepting Yourself Is The Best Medicine For All Evils

They never called it cruelty.

They called it concern, advice, even humor.

From my childhood, I was made to feel that my body was a burden on my parents. Society taught me again and again that my worth could be measured, discussed, and judged. My decision of not to marry was not seen as a choice, but as something ridiculous, something to laugh at.

So they created a story for me.

They said I didn’t want to marry because I was chubby.

From that point on, everything I did—sleeping, waking, bathing, brushing my teeth, eating breakfast—became part of a quiet, ongoing comedy. My life was constantly observed and interpreted.

I was no longer just living; I had become a performance for others’ amusement.

But even then, something inside me resisted.

I questioned. I always questioned silently, internally, everything I was told.

At times, I still became insecure. I reduced my food intake, believing it would make me acceptable. I did not know then that a growing child needs nourishment, play, study, and proper rest.

My mom told me that a growing child needs proper meals. Some children are born chubby and meant to be chubby.

I even argued with that idea, hesitating mentally to accept it.

Instead of caring for myself, I was learning to deny myself.

Looking back, I realize those years affected my growth. My height did not develop fully. Dark circles stayed under my eyes, silently reflecting the imbalance within me.

And then came 2019, a day that quietly changed everything.

My family was invited to my maternal relative’s house. We spent time together, talking as families do. When the food arrived, we all sat and ate. Suddenly, her husband said aloud that we had eaten at their house. I almost reminded him that whenever they visited us, my parents always tried their best to welcome them, but I stayed silent for my mother’s sake.

After the meal, as I was about to sit on the sofa, her husband said to my parents that I was fat and that it would be difficult for them to marry me off.

In that moment, I saw the truth clearly:

Except for my parents and sibling, I am not truly welcome in many of these relatives’ homes. Their visits were not about connection; they were about performance, judgment, and comparison. I had only gone that day to uphold my mother’s image, but it was clear that I was not invited for who I was. Their “concern” was only a mask for criticism.

All those years, I had questioned.

But that day, I reacted.

I smiled and said,

"Then that is good. Because in my life, I never want to marry. I have a mission and a vision."

He was irritated. But I continued, calmly and firmly:

"My life is not meant to impress someone by declining myself. And it is not mandatory for a person to have a romantic or sexual partner to live a complete life."

That moment did not change them.

It changed me.

That day, I discovered a strong and clear purpose for my life, something I had kept hidden. At times, I had even declined it or tried to think differently, but in that moment, my purpose became undeniable and real.

Also, I made a decision then:

I will never go there again. And I didn’t.

We should not go where we are not invited properly. Self-respect is an inseparable part of life. It is the crown of glory for our soul to smile.

I chose self-respect over acceptance.

I chose peace over approval.

From that point forward, something inside me began to heal.

I stopped hesitating to eat.

I stopped feeling guilty for resting.

I allowed myself to exist without constant self-judgment.

I realized that I could eat properly, sleep properly, and care for myself. I grew chubby and I don’t deny it. But I am happy, and that happiness is mine.

Years of missing proper nutrition left their mark, but slowly, my body and mind began recovering. The dark circles under my eyes faded. My confidence grew. And most importantly, my spirit began to feel free.

I realized something profound:

I am different from many girls around me. I may receive less admiration. But I see more clearly. I think. I question. I reflect.

True peace does not come from societal approval.

It comes from valuing who you are and living the life that aligns with your own truth.

Peace is not silence under pressure.

Peace is not approval from others.

Peace is the moment you stop fighting yourself.

For me, peace began the day I chose myself.

Not every word spoken by society is truth.

Not every norm deserves obedience.

So question everything. Challenge every assumption.

Because the answers you find will change your life.

Accepting yourself is not a weakness.

It is not selfishness.

It is not rebellion.

It is the best medicine.

Medicine for the shame forced upon you.

Medicine for the fear that limits you.

Medicine for the silent wounds that no one acknowledges.

And once you begin to heal, you will understand something deeply freeing:

Life is short.

What is the point of trying to become a peacock for admiration when you were born a cuckoo, meant to live and sing in your own voice?